Shit.

And what of the girl
with the kaleidoscope eyes?
She kissed the feet of those
who planned her demise.

tears

Here come the tears,

Running from the smoldering ruins of my heart

Tripping over each other

Trying to find a way out of this miserable pit

Reaching my eye lashes,

And jumping over the edge,

Plunging into the unknown,

Trusting it to be better than the darkness

From which they came.

A Slave to My Ambition

I am a member of a cult,
A follower of a sect,
An acolyte of a religion many call crazy
I hate participating in this cult,
For it requires me to abandon my instincts,
To push my body to the point of breaking,
To give everything I have,
Not receiving even my own sweat as a reward
But I know not how to survive in its absence,
I am an addict to this time consuming drug,
A drug I devote two hours a day,
One hour once a week before even the sun rises,
And Saturdays as a form of celebration.
Worship makes my body sore,
And leaves it smelling of chemicals.
I am a drill, buried six feet under
Knowing no up nor no down,
Knowing only that persistence will be my savior,
And only time will present me with a blessing,
I thrive off of the meager rush of obtaining this rarity,
Because most of the time this parasite of a belief
Drains every ounce of energy from my callused being.
There are few days a year,
When my faith is tested,
When the loyal will be blessed,
And traitors will be cast aside like a lousy apology.
I am left constantly questioning my sanity
Rarely remaining in a state of happiness,
But never backing out, or giving up.
As member of this asinine group,
I am required to sacrifice much of
My time, My hobbies
My work, My life
I am a dutiful slave to my ambition,
My master is consistent and brutal,
And keeps me chained to my commitments.
But I do not serve alone,
There are many others like me-
Lacking better judgment,
Functioning on pure devotion alone,
Using their bodies as a tool to grow closer to their faith.
I know them as brothers and sisters,
We are a family surviving together in the confines of this cult,
You know us as athletes,
And our religion as swimming.

Out of the Closet

What would you say
If I announced I was gay
That I love women over men
Regardless of how hard you pray
And what would you think
If I took a girl to the prom
Adopted a kid
With no dad but two moms
I know that you believe
That 'gay isn't right'
But that's who I am
And for me
I WILL fight.

Chained

The beautiful wings that once kept me soaring,
Is now broken and chained to an hourglass
The sand slowly pouring
Memories, Ideas, Creations and Thoughts,
Piling up slowly forgotten and dismissed
In a pile on the bottom
Forever to be lost.

There goes my happily ever after

Today my world came crashing down

I got to the end of that yellow brick road

A long road of good times and smiles

And promise of the emerald city

To the end of the rainbow

A ribbon of colorful personalities-

And what awaited me

Was a pile of rubble.

Someone had run off with the pot of gold

And my knight in shining armor had better places to be.

Half a world apart

I want to play where you used to play,

Cry where you cried

Walk the same streets you did as a child

Watch the sun rise from your bedroom window.

I want you to tell me what you think about at night,

Just before you drift off into a different world,

And first thing when you wake in the morning.

I want to tell you everything

For you to trust me enough to sing

Loud enough for everyone to hear

'Baby your the one for me'

Is it sad to wish for your arms to hold me

To think of your sweet gaze everyday

I know we barely know each other

But I want you all the same.

Sometimes I hate myself for hoping

That even though we are half a world apart

That even though I wake to your sunset

That we may have a chance together.

I feel like I made things up in my mind,

That those little glances you give me

Are all just wishful thinking.

Only time will tell I guess.

I hope to last till then.